Republican News · Thursday 19 December 2002

Christmas TV

By JOANNE CORCORAN

Well it's that time of year again and everyone in the An Phoblacht office is looking forward to some well-deserved respite from the whirlwind world of republican journalism, a few jars and a spot of vegetating in front of the box. But will we be disappointed again on the 25th with more re-runs from RTÉ, and just how many channels will be showing 'Titanic', 'Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory' and 'The Wizard of Oz'?

Have no fear! As ever An Phoblacht's dedicated team of TV addicts will steer you from the horrors of festive flops and Christmas cringers.

Bare in mind, though, that dvds and videos make good Christmas pressies, so if nothing below appeals to you, perhaps it's time to surprise someone in the homestead with the complete series of 'Only Fools and Horses'!

The Old Reliables

If it's Christmas nostalgia you're looking for, you'll find it aplenty this year. From Bing Crosby's 'White Christmas', showing on Christmas Eve, to 'The Wizard of Oz', 'It's a Wonderful Life' and 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang' on Christmas Day, there are plenty of old favourite films on show.

The soaps will all have their Christmas specials, but don't expect to find too much Christmas cheer here. EastEnders (6:20& 9:00 RTÉ 1/BBC1) is, aside from its usual installment of havoc and head-banging from the Slater household, going to be ultra-depressing this year. Eastenders' morbid scriptwriters are planning a nice tear-jerking death scene, with the unfortunate Jamie croaking it after being run down by speed-crazy Martin Fowler. Laura Beale will be thrown out on her ear by whinge-of-a-husband Ian, after he finds out she's carrying another man's child (who can blame her?). Light relief will come with hapless couple Mo and Billy get hitched.

Coronation Street (7:55 TV3 & UTV) will be no better, with serial killer Richard Hillman, (honest to God, who'd buy a house on any of these soap's streets) on the prowl for his next victim. Has this man never thought of asking the bank for a loan to solve his cash problems before reaching for the hatchet?

Emmerdale (6:55 TV3& UTV) will see Louise coming face to face with the stalker who's been plaguing her for the last few weeks. Could it be the husband she deserted in Home and Away all those years ago, when her name was in fact Marilyn? Something tells us that, true to form, Emmerdale will be following the Punch-cartoon trend of all its main soap rivals and painting the good ol' Irishman (her boyfriend Ray) as the baddie in this one. Whoever it is should receive some lessons in imaginative stalking techniques. Heavy-breathing phonecalls and cut-off dolls heads? Come On!

Fair City (RTE1, 6:55) will be stageing its usual display of atrocious acting. Drugs, prison and family arguments, which have increasingly graced our screens as the soap attemps to 'spice-up' its plot-lines might well find you reaching for that bottle of whiskey.

Have a laugh

Comedy-wise, there's the usual 'Only Fools and Horses' on BBC 1 (9:40). Last years' wasn't the bast I've seen of Del & Co, but the hugely popular comedy is still an institution on Christmas day. Alistair McGowan's 'The Big Impression", has made a big impression on us this year, and his Christmas special on BBC 1 (8:25) should cheer you up, (if you've just watched EastEnders). RTÉ 1 has very little to offer in the way of laughter. However after every film during the afternoon, there'll be a soundbite from the very successful 'Give Up Yer Aul Sins', the animated and at times hilarious Bible stories narrated by Dublin school children. If you really want a good laugh (although it may be actually from hysterical disbelief, rather than humour) watch 'The Lyrics Board Special' starring "Irish Pop phenomenon-Dickie Rock", which RTÉ, in its infinite wisdom, hs decided to show at 7:55, during prime-time viewing.

Films

One of the most pointed absurdities of naff Christmas TV scheduling is the sequencing of the same 'blockbusters' on each of the main channels at different times so as that certain films seem inescapable. Last year we had a marathon run of 'Titanic', and this year it's 'It's a Wonderful Life" and 'Chicken Run'. The former is on TV3, then Network 2, then BBC 2, while 'Chicken Run' makes it on to RTE 1 and BBC 1. Thankfully they're two terrific films, and far more suitable to Christmas viewing than 'Titanic'.

RTÉ 1 is holding a Hitchcock season, with 'Notorious' (1:25am, 23rd), 'Spellbound' (1:50am Christmas Eve), and 'North by Northwest' (1:20am, Christmas Day). Continuing in the same vein of questionable scheduling, RTÉ is showing these classic films after 1am.

On Christmas Eve, there are actually surprisingly few films of any stature (or is that a surprise?). There are repeats of 'Mrs. Doubtfire' (Network 2, 5:15), 'The Karate Kid' (Channel 4, 1:00), 'The Mummy", (BBC1, 8:05), and 'Michael Collins' (TG4, 9:05). 'Father Ted, Christmas Special', on Network 2 at 9:55, might just save the day.

Christmas Day is a bit better, with unusuals like 'Death on the Nile', (Channel 4, 3:15), the entertaining Agatha Christie murder mystery, 'The Wedding Singer', (BBC1, 11:35), a mildly funny romantic tale, and 'Jaws', (UTV, 10:55), the classic thriller from Steven Spielberg.

Despite the amount of re-runs, there are some notably good films to watch over the season. This Saturday, 'Out of Sight' (10:25) is on BBC1. This is a stylish film, starring George Clooney and Jennifer Lopez, and contains a fantastic modern Jazz soundtrack. Sunday sees 'Fight Club' (BBC2, 9:00), and Annie Hall (UTV, 1:30), and these are two movies definitely worth a look.

The best on Monday is '12 Angry Men', (UTV, 00:45), a fascinating psychological drama. 'Midnight Run' (Network 2, 11:25, Mon), will make you laugh, and remind you why Robert DeNiro is famed for his versatility.

On St. Stevens's Day, watch "Some Like it Hot" (UTV, 00:15), 'The Birds' (RTE1, 00:35), or 'The Matrix', (TG4, 9:00), and treat the kids to 'Annie' (TV3, 10:50), and 'Mary Poppins' (UTV, 5:25) while you attempt your recovery from Yuletide over-indulgence.

Something different

If you're stirring clear of the soaps and avoiding the films you've been forced to watch for the last umpteen years, you might want to watch a documentary or two.

'John B Keane: In His Own Words', (RTE 1, Jan 1), brings together many of the writer's witty contributions to various RTÉ programmes over the last 40 years, and should be worth a look.

'The 100 Greatest Films' (C4, Dec 28 & 29) should throw up all the old debates about the greatest movie ever (it's got to be Lord Of the Rings!).

"Sports Review of the Year', (RTE 1, Jan 3), will please sporting fans. Network 2 is providing us with a bit of culture on Christmas Day by treating us to 'The Four Seasons', (6:20), featuring the music of Antonio Vivaldi, and dancers from the National Ballet of Canada, and 'Don Giovanni: Unmasked' (7:10), an adaptation of Mozart's great opera.