Too much sex
- The Viagra Revolution/Hollywood Sex (Sky One)
- Touch `N Go (BBC2)
- Kenny Live/All Ireland Hurling Final (RTE1)
- Alex Ferguson/The Murdoch Takeover (UTV)
Ireland has come a long way in the last ten years - no sooner had
them bleddy condom machines been erected, despite the bishops'
best efforts, then them Homoh-sax-ualls got their way and Divorce
was forced upon us by those heathens above in Dublin.
On top of all the foreign filth being shown on our screens, we're
now being exposed to the Viagra revolution, a media creation for
some and a blessing for those of us with dysfunctional
what-do-ye-call-ems.
At £9.00 a pill (or £4.50 if you know the right people), Viagra
can be obtained on prescription from your local GP, but how many
men will actually be courageous enough to venture this far is
anyone's guess.
It has been described in the USA as the `wonder drug' where seven
out of ten wives say their husbands prefer it.
Hugh Hefner the original Playboy and founder of the magazine with
the same name, is probably the most famous advertisement for the
product.
At 72 years of age he survives on a diet of Diet Coke and a
fistful of Viagra pills, ditching his 38 year old wife and
re-entering his ``Pleasure Dome''.
He ``heartily endorses'' Viagra and is overjoyed to once again be a
``babe magnet''. It has had its complications however, with a
number of Divorce cases being taken by women claiming to have
been driven insane by their husbands' ``sex maniac'' antics. Viagra
seems in the US to be yet another commodity on the increasingly
materialistic sex market, focused on in Hollywood Sex.
The Hellfire Club is one such place where over a quiet pint one
can be chained up or put in stocks, to be sexually molested by
other customers.
Rick and Marie, a devoted couple, have a keen interest in
exhibitionist torture and Shanneen likes to literally set herself
alight amid sexual passion.
Every year we hear of increasingly shocking stories from the US
sex industry, but one senses that sex has become a commodity,
similar to drink or drugs, where enough is never enough.
This increasingly sad world was touched on in BBC2's Touch `N' Go
on Tuesday last, where a thirtysomething couple suffering from a
flagging relationship try to revive their marriage with a spot of
wife swapping.
No down the pub and swap the car keys across the counter for this
duo - rather they are the professional type who over a few
bottles of Pedrotti let slip a few of their fears and fantasies
to similar winesodden yuppies.
Their sex life is a victim of a stale marriage where career
becomes a priority for one and designing wallpaper patterns and
baking scones becomes the highlight of the other's week.
In an effort to revive her husband's interests Donna pops down to
Dunnes for some undies after some advice from her sister. Brian
spills his problems down the pub to one of his colleagues, who
introduces him to the seedy world of saunas, health clubs and
dirty mags from the top shelf.
Ultimately Brian persuades his wife to enter the ``swingers''
scene, in order ``to satisfy our need for polgamy without
destroying our marriage''!
After much cajoling Donna enters the world of wife swapping with
other Tory types, where much sexual frolics occur amid wine and
Monopoly.
Unfortunately the experiment has disastrous consequences for the
jealous husband and over-enthusiastic wife, whose exploits end in
farce after bedding Jack and Nora from next door.
Despite what some may assume as weird this ``intimate drama'' was a
realistic portrayal of the lives of many unhappy couples, who in
the words of Homer Simpson recently, ``would be better off
sleeping in bed, feeling the warm breath of their partner on
their back, than to be stuffing dollar bills in the bosom of a
belly dancer''. No better man!
On the subject of sex symbols Pat Kenny must be commended for
rescuing the pre-All Ireland Final Night from the jaws of the
woeful Liam O'Murchu, who had a tendency to forget the names of
those he introduced, and to cut them off before they could speak,
followed by the infamous ``bualadh bos''.
Kenny was both courteous and surprisingly informed on the subject
matter, which was followed by black and white footage of the two
counties.
Although not on TV, Tom Humphries' interview with Offaly
midfielder Johnny Pilkington in The Irish Times must be singled
out for sports article of the year in a world of a thousands
clichés.
Johnny is not the type to run through steel doors before a game,
but would rather open it first, and the world of professional
training is anathema to this natural sportsman, who has cut his
drinking to ``about 16 or 17 pints a week'' but is still prone to
chain smoking.
In what can only be described as a marvellous spectacle last
Sunday's All Ireland Final was a victory for natural hurlers over
the increasingly fitness-driven realm of sport.
One image which sticks in the mind (less obvious on the TV
screens) was the prowling of two managers on the sideine, who
carried their own hurleys throughout, in an effort to be the
sixteenth man - no financial rewards or ego boosts for this duo,
but an obvious passion for the game of hurling.
Tis' far from Viagra these boys were reared!
Alex Ferguson, as featured in UTV, although earning astronomical
wages, has a similar passion to win, which has followed him
throughout his life.
Initially an apprentice toolmaker, who was renowned for juggling
pennies on his feet and head, he was an ``elbows first''
footballer, playing both for Rangers and Scotland.
Shame though for all genuine Manchester football fans whose souls
have being sold to the devil for thirty pieces of silver.
A tabloid-reading fan will now be contributing to Rupert
Murdoch's Empire everytime he/she buys a paper, turns on the
telly, buys a football ticket or dons a replica jersey. Long live
Johnny Pilkington!
By Sean O Donaile
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