Love and war
- Would You Believe (RTE1)
- Prime Time (RTE1)
- Timewatch (BBC2)
``A cousin of mine goes potholin'
A cousin of hers loves Joe Dolan
Some head off to Frihilliana
But I always go to ....the house of prayer''
Well it doesn't exactly ryhme, but I might be better off there
than eating sausages, chasing rotund Yanks and swilling pints in
Lisdoonvarna.
Christina Gallagher, the Mayo housewife, has been under the media
microscope after revealing herself as a visionary and a medium
for Christ. RTE's Would You Believe investigated.
Queues of faithful visited a house in Belfast's Leeson Street
after the resident claimed to have seen Christ in her fireplace a
few years back and a colleague on the Falls claimed to me that he
had witnessed Christ on his windowpane, but he could've been
suffering from the after-effects of one too many cans of Steiger
down the graveyard. For over six years Christina's house in
Achill Island has been visited by thousands of pilgrims in search
of miracles and solace - this mightn't have brought Sam Maguire
any closer to Mayo, but has ``cured'' some, including Kathleen who
claims to have been relieved of terminal cancer after visiting
the holy one. The fact that she might have been cured by her own
strength of character may also be of some relevance but there's
horses for courses.
Christina claims to have been first visited in 1985, when she
realised ``I was a sinner'', lingo I haven't heard since my last
connfession back in `72.
The Virgin Mary appeared in a light through her body and
Christina wanted to go home with her. Christina has suffered like
Christ, including bleeding on her feet and wrists and a crown of
thorns, which was filmed by Granada TV in 1994.
Her experiences and subsequent large following has been met with
scepticism by the local bishop, but if the church believes in the
resurrection of Christ they should have no reason to doubt
Christina.
She was somewhat uncomfortable when questioned about chequebooks,
the Miracle Shop, where one can purchase plastic statues of the
big G and Christina's autobiography and video, but sceptical or
not, she's as entitled as the next person to make a few bob.
Some of us believe in aliens and Elvis is reputedly alive and
well and playing junior hurling in Wicklow, so there is no reason
to criticise those who gain solace from the house of prayer, and
the after-effects are a lot less harmful than a weekend at the
Lisdoonvarna festival listening to hairy Christy and running from
the Limerick bikers.
Our ``Big G'', as featured on Prime Time, is currently in
Blackpool. He's been given a whirl on Labour's Big Wheel although
he certainly hasn't got any candy floss from David Trimble,
rather the usual claptrap, ``the need for paramilitary
decommissioning'' obviously under pressure from hardline unionists
(aren't they all?) and keen to save his own political skin.
As stated by Adams, Sinn Fein has undergone much change,
including a change in constitution, but the unionists continue to
be dragged kicking and screaming through the process, all the
time looking for more orange candy floss. RTE unfortunately
hauled the usual inconsequentials on board for ``expert analysis'',
including ``ex IRA - I renounce violence'' Eamon Collins, who
ironically can still read our minds, while making a few bob in
the process.
He was followed by unionist John Bruton, desperately trying to
sound credible, advising P O'Neill, with a most sombre face, not
``to break the law''. After a bright start RTE unfortunately
followed the cliched line without questioning the northern police
state and Brendan O'Brien concluded by informing us that Gerry
wasn't addressing the Labour conference on the need to
decommission, but was calling for the need for the dismantling of
partition - how dare he!
Timewatch on the Beeb was noteworthy in that it focused on a
different type of hero - those homosexuals who were prepared to
proclaim their orientation during WWII. Chris and friends were a
refreshing antedote to the stuffed turkey from the military who
proclaimed ``there was no place for gays in the military as it
``may affect morale''. Humourous denis, was one of up to 250,000
serving gays in the war, when British officialdom turned a blind
eye to the boys.
He shared a mess ``and what a mess it was'' with over 100 other
navy personnel, many of whom informed him that he ``reminded them
of their girls back home'' as they queued to share his bunk. No
one was supposed to know but everyone did and Chris's bunk was
increasingly inundated in times of death and crises.
Denis was a likeable ``old chum'' who had his share of crash
landings, but none so good as when his captain gave him his first
kiss.
All claim that homosexual relationships which were many, added to
morale and this view is shared by the Dutch military where
homosexuality has been legalised and normalised.
Unsurprisingly the Brits continue to drum out gays for
``committing a criminal offence''.
But one senses they may learn more from their Queens than their
Queen.
By Sean O Donaile