Extremely orange
- Prime Time (RTE1)
- Ulster Live (UTV)
- Questions and Answers (RTE1)
- Tonight With Vincent Browne (Radio1)
- Home Ground (BBC2)
- Ruby (BBC2)
One couldn't possibly find a more extreme contrast between the
orange threat in France and that in Ireland.
While one group of orangemen expose their silky skills and
heroics to the world the other Orangemen are keen to expose their
``culture'' of dominance and bigotry.
With the blockade-to-blockade coverage of the crisis, Drumcree
has provided alternative entertainment to many outside the north
who suffer from a lack of football and a lack of understanding of
the real reasons behind the Orangemen's ``right to march'', due to
decades of censorship and misinformation.
It is not uncommon to meet Free Staters who talk of the need to
``compromise'' and ``what's the big deal?''
In the absence of compulsory educational ``tours of the north'',
the TV has to suffice.
``Friend of unionism'' Ruth Dudley Edwards was busy on Questions
and Answers employing the by now familiar unionist tactic of
demonisation, castigating Breandan Mac Cionnaith as the
``hardliner who blew up the Royal British Legion hall in
Portadown'' and the man ``who needs to step aside'' to save the
north.
Edwards conveniently ignores the fact that Mac Cionnaith is an
elected councillor. He is also the residents spokesperson, as is
Gerard Rice of the Ormeau Rd, who will come under the same
criticism at the weekend.
This tactic has been repeatedly used against nationalists as a
pretext for assassination (remember Pat Finucane) but Ruth
assured us that the ``wholly inoffensive'' Orangemen only wanted to
play a few hymns and they ``are desperate not for violence''
despite their repeated presence at blockades, riots and attacks
on the RUC.
Ian Paisley Jnr was busy castigating Mac Cionnaith on Tonight
With Vincent Browne, and all those ``little republicans'' of the
Garvaghy Road.
Meanwhile Jane and Michelle informed Browne that all the
nationalists on the Garvaghy were ``outsiders looking for trouble''
and that locals ``have to do what they're told''.
Without sounding sectarian Michael Farrell put his finger on the
pulse on Q&A when he stated that ``it's sad that the Protestant
population can't reach out to the Catholic population'' and ``it's
quite depressing that the only way of expressing their cultural
identity is by marching through Catholic areas''.
Rather than the blanket coverage, much of which is of little
benefit, the media must pose the following questions:
Why did the RUC allow thousands of Orangemen into Portadown?
Why have they allowed multiple road blockades, some of which are
staffed by children?
Why are 13% of the RUC in the Orange Order?
Are the British army in the front line to prevent an RUC mutiny,
as happened in 1996?
Meanwhile the residents of Garvaghy Road wait to see if the state
will ``betray us yet again''.
One wonders would the Orangemen talk to Rosyln Mitchell (ex David
Spry), England's first transexual politician, or would they see
her as a republican in drag?
Councillor Mitchell, featured on BBC2's Home Ground, had always
wanted to be a woman, but instead went through the usual self
denial lifestyle, marrying twice and fathering children, in an
attempt to deny his femininity, until his mid-life crisis when
the mascara and nail varnish could not be denied and he applied
for a sex change.
Unfortunately for him he has to wait a year, during which time he
has to prove himself and live as a woman, which can be quite
difficult when you still have stubble and a deep voice and
youngsters giggle and call you names at the shopping centre.
Mitchell opines that his is a medical condition, only recently
acknowledged in Britain and many still find it difficult to
accept, among them his fellow Labour Councillors and Women's
Section, who still refuse her access to meetings.
The programme follows Mitchell as she tries to break the ice,
going step dancing and to council meetings and constituency
clinics, all for the first time in her new frock and lipstick.
Unfortunately, many within new Labour are willing to accept
Rosy's new look, but one wonders what Martin McGuinness would say
if Sammy Wilson turned up to the Assembly in high heels and
mascara, or would he respect Sammy's new feminity? On a more
serious note, Councillor Mitchell must be commended for her
strength in treading this new brave new path in public life and
may set a trend for others.
Around The Table With Ruby proved to be a major disappointment,
particularly after her in-your-face interviews with Pamela
Anderson, OJ Simpson and friends. Tonight's stars included the
ageless Joanna Lumley, whose New Avengers bosom provided many
childhood fantasies, in between playing hurling and eating twenty
five jam sandwiches in the rain.
Boy George (George O Dowd) who could've made a great corner
forward if his dad had returned to Tipperary, talked of his
desire to be ``a big poof'' and the lack of individuality at
school.
Joanna was disappointing and the third guest seemed to be asleep.
Ruby tried to liven up the discussion with talk of silicone
implants and ``how much do you like the wobbly bits to move'',
which is all a bit cliched, so I switched back to Ronaldo and co.
Finally, if you're turned off by a 0-0 France-Brazil World Cup
bore, switch to a cracking Munster Hurling Final between Clare
and Waterford.
By Sean O Donaile
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