`The worst time of my life'
As the housing crisis in the 26 Counties reaches chronic levels Tara
O'Liaith speaks to one woman who faced the prospect of sleeping on
the streets
Homelessness has many faces. From the large number of young people
sleeping on our cities' streets to both young and old staying in
hostels. Others, the majority, are the unseen homeless. Like
Caroline. Along with her seven year old son, Caroline spent six
months this year technically homeless.
``It didn't really dawn on me
that we were homeless,'' says Caroline, ``until I sat in Dublin
Corporation and was told to go to the `Homeless Section'.''
It may
sound naive, but Caroline, like most of us, viewed homelessness as
sleeping on the streets. After two or three months, the prospect of
sleeping on the streets was becoming a real fear for Caroline and her
son. When her marraige broke down Caroline and her child moved in to
her parents' house. ``There's always been problems there,'' she says,
``but we didn't have anywhere else to go''.
She spent her evenings
scouring the paper for private accommodation but to no avail. ``I got
so tired of listening to landlords telling me that they didn't take
Eastern Health Board payments or if they did, they didn't take
children. It was frustrating and soul destroying.''
Eventually, due to
the problems within the family, Caroline found herself with nowhere
to live. ``I wasn't too worried at first,'' she says. ``I naively
thought I would be housed in a flash, I had no idea about the huge
waiting list. Little did I know I would spend months going in and out
of Dublin Corporation literally begging them to give me somewhere to
live''.
The first three months were spent at a friend's house close to
her son's school and Caroline managed to hold down her part-time job.
``It was a huge strain, living under someones else's roof. Even though
they were friends, I felt like I was imposing on their lives. I had
told them it wouldn't be for long, so after three months I felt it
was time to move on''.
Not knowing where she was going to move on to,
Caroline seriously considered taking Dublin Corporation's advice to
move into either a hostel or a bed and breakfast.
``I was terrified of
bringing my son to either, he was having a hard enough time trying to
understand why we had no house. I was so afraid of making the
situation worse''.
What finally made her mind up was a conversation
with another young mother in the Corporation. ``I was sitting in the
Homeless Section, as I did every day, and I got chatting to this girl
who had four children. She had been homeless for a year and had been
staying in a hostel for seven months. She was telling me about being
afraid for her children and herself, the lack of privacy etc etc. But
what really decided it for me was the fact that if, with four
children, she'd been in a hostel for that length of time what chance
did I have? I was convinced that if I did go, I'd be forgotten about.
All I could see was months and months stretching ahead of me living
out of plastic bags trying to explain to my son why I couldn't get us
anywhere to call our own''.
other friend kindly offered Caroline and
her son a bed for as long as they needed. Although it meant getting
two buses to school every morning and two buses home every evening,
Caroline jumped at the chance. ``It was better than being just another
number in a hostel,'' she says. Because of the distance and the
pressure Caroline had to leave her job and survive on her Lone
Parents Allowance, a lot of which went on travel expenses.
``I can
safely say it was the worst time of my life,'' she says, looking back.
``I felt worthless, such a failure for not being able to provide a
home for my son. It was so hard getting up every day hoping against
hope that today would be the day I'd get somewhere to live and then
realising that it wasn't going to happen. If it wasn't for my son I
don't know what I would have done, I had to keep going for him''.
Finally, six months after she registered as homeless, Dublin
Corporation gave Caroline a flat. ``I'd been to see the committee
within the complex, who have been set up to crack down on the drug
problem and I suppose to veto who moves in. Whether it was down to
them or the Corporation, I don't know, but I will be eternally
grateful''.
Today, as Caroline puts up Christmas decorations around
the one bedroomed flat and her son plays happily in the sitting room,
it's a far cry from living out of plastic bags, but something she
says she'll never forget. ``I sit here some nights and I look around
me and I still can't believe it's mine, but I never take it all for
granted, because it was such a fight to get it. Before this I thought
being homeless was something that happened to other people. I never
thought it would be me. But I also know it could have been much
worse, I see people in town at night sleeping under blankets and I
think `there but for the grace of God go I'''.
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