In a little-reported development last week, the Ulster Unionists
let it be known that they had secured eleven confidence-building
measures in advance of talks. Many were silly (Mo Mowlam will now
attend the Forum more regularly), some were porkies (pretending
that the governments expect decommissioning during talks) and one
was deeply ironic. Number 6 is: ``Arising from the different
circumstances in Northern Ireland, the new Gun Legislation in
Great Britain will not be extended to Northern Ireland.''
In other words, everyone will disarm except Unionists who,
because `Northern Ireland' is different from `Great Britain',
will be allowed to keep their weapons. Just one more little
contradiction for modern Unionism.
other irony surrounds Eason's refusal to carry a pamphlet by UK
Unionist Bob McCartney. Eason's say it is a party political
publication, which is a bit of a lame excuse for banning it, if
you ask me, though not surprising given Eason's track record in
this sort of thing. Their target is more usually republicans, so
the irony is that the foreword of MacCartney's pamphlet is
written by that old upholder of censorship, Conor Cruise O'Brien.
It is sweet music to those who savour hypocrisy to hear the
Cruiser now squealing about himself being censored.
ad from the Independent on Sunday has been brought to my
attention. It's for ``The World Leaders in Personalised Pictures''.
The company is called Chuckies and the ad begins: ``Enter the
exploding market of personalised pictures...''
Spare a thought for Sinn Féin's Sean Crowe who doesn't often
venture outside his South West Dublin heartland. Last week he
took a trip to the negotiations at Stormont as part of the Sinn
Féin delegation. Afterwards he drove home, heading out of Belfast
along the M1. He drove and drove until, he says, he saw a sign
for Aughnacloy. That, as everyone knows is like heading for Spain
via Denmark. Next time he is going to let the train take the
strain.
Derry nationalists are rightly famed for their imaginative wall
murals which depict their community's years of resistance. Now
Loyalists in the city's Waterside have come up with a mural which
perfectly captures their sick brand of politics. It depicts a
skeletal figure representing the UFF leaping through dead bodies
in the Bogside. The mural, inspired apparently by the cover of an
Iron Maiden album has above it the inscription: ``The must be no
retirement with our backs to the wall, and believing in the
justice of our cause each one of us must fight on to the end.
``We determine the guilty. We decide the punishment.''
Sad really.
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