Pack Up Your Troubles: 25 Years of Northern Ireland Cartoons
Martyn Turner
Blackstaff Press, Belfast 1995; £5.99

MARTYN TURNER is, by his own admission, not funny. He would advise you not to approach his cartoons looking for belly-laughs. Rather, in the age-old tradition of political cartoonists, he seeks to make people think, to prick the bubble of politicians' bluster and to expose hypocrisy. A noble task, you might think. But, equally true to a tradition, namely that of many British magazines such as Punch and cartoons in British tabloid newspapers, the lethal weapon of his cartoons is turned overwhelmingly in one direction only.

Pack Up Your Troubles is, in effect, a retrospective of Turner's work on 'the troubles' in the North over 25 years. Seeing his work altogether brings home forcefully just how partisan the approach is. Here republicans (referred to usually in unionist parlance as 'IRA/SF') figure centrally as the targets of Turner's wit, being responsible, as one cartoon puts it, for "3,000+ dead". The loyalists are here, both the uniformed ones and Paisley, but interestingly, they are lesser players. Even more interestingly, with the notable exception of a cartoon displaying an Orange parade tramping its "traditional route" over a prone and bruised "Catholic community", the loyalists hardly get a look in after the cease-fires.

Despite the imbalance, loyalists and republicans are shown to be two peas in the one pod, mouthing the same hypocrisies, mirror images of each other, locked in a symmetry of violence. There is no room for political ideology or belief here, only the foolishness of a weird sort of political correctness that allows one IRA man, preparing for "tonight's op", to state that "the political wing would remind us that it is morally wrong to discriminate between black and white soldiers" (page 15); or that produces a fictional newspaper headline: "4 killed in political offence in Downpatrick" (page 33).

Of all the targets for Turner's acerbic pen, Gerry Adams is the bullseye. While Paisley is incapable of saying anything other than 'No', Adams is incapable of telling the truth. Two identical frames have Adams speaking on TV, before and after the broadcasting ban; the words from his mouth each time are "Blah ... Protestant brothers and sisters ... blah ... blah ... reconciliation ... blah ... democracy". The only difference is the captions; before the ban reads "Voice of Actor", after the ban, "Also Voice of Actor" (page 54).

The susposed ridiculousness of republicans as peacemakers is portrayed on page 65, where an angelic Adams in a long white gown surrounded by doves hides behind dark sunglasses. The point is emphasised by Turner in his introduction: "...this book is for anyone who thinks Gerry Adams, Andy Tyrie, Ian Paisley, Father Seán McManus, the whole shooting match of them, are definitely not role models and for the people who have been pursuing the peace process in their daily lives for the past 25 years (not just the last twenty-five minutes) by not joining in the nonsense we call the Troubles" (page 6).

Paramount among the 'real peacemakers' are Major and Mayhew. In one cartoon they wait in an empty room by an open door for someone, anyone, to take up their offer of peace. Their conversation goes as follows: "Major - Anyone given up their old shibboleths yet, Paddy? Mayhew - Nary a one, so far, John. Major - Anyone challenged their own political prejudices and sought accommodation with a different historical tradition? Mayhew - Up to lunchtime today, 'fraid not, sir. Major - Any arms handed in? Mayhew - Not in this century, Prime Minister" (page 86).

The same point is made elsewhere: two identical crowds gather in front of two men on balconies. On one, the sour-faced communist dictator in "Eastern Europe" is subjected to the crowd's demands: "Reform, elections, government by the people, negotiate!" In the other, it is Peter Brooke yelling the same demands at the "Northern Ireland" crowd (page 34).

Turner is situated politically somewhere between the Alliance Party and the Peace Train. Perhaps part of the 'peace divided' will be not merely the recent demise of the latter organisation, but also the fact that he will turn his skills and attention to other trouble spots and leave us in the North to get on with the complexity of real, not cartoon, politics. In the meantime, I'm sticking to Cormac.

BY LIAM McMASTER

Cattle-rustling in Sheriffer

Down by the Dockside

By Terry Fagan and Ben Savage

Published by North Inner City Folklore Project

FOR YEARS the people of Sheriff Street - mostly flat-dwellers - campaigned against Dublin Corporation plans to shift them all out to the suburbs. Many were moved out, but then the Corpo built new houses in the area in which some were accommodated.

In a bizarre twist, the flats are now going to be sold off and redeveloped as yuppie apartments in connection with the nearby Custom House Docks Financial Services Centre. As Gerry Fay of the North Wall Community Association says "having people living alongside one another - one half with everything and the other half with nothing, is a recipe for disaster". He describes it as the next challenge that confronts the community.

It is a community that has confronted and overcome many challenges in the past and preserved its sense of solidarity. That is the thread running through all the reminiscences in this book. Here people remember their lives in a district which depended on the docks for its survival. A myth about the dockers is that they priced themselves out of the labour market in the '70s, but for decades before they had endured the most insecure working conditions, being employed only on a daily basis.

Though times were hard, most of the memories are good ones. The community abounded with characters. There are stories of cattle-rustling, a horse in a pub and a bull in a bed. The Black and Tans fight in their pyjamas and riots are captured on film. There are guest appearances by Luke Kelly, Arthur Ashe, Stephen Gately, Floyd Patterson and Al Jolson.

This is the ninth local history publication produced by Dublin's North Inner City Folklore Project and is well worth reading.

BY MICHEAL MAC DONNCHA

Film Review: Fame forgotten

To Die For

SUZANNE STONE (Nicole Kidman) is a young girl who wants just one thing - to be famous. She marries Larry Maretto, a fun-loving home boy who is happy running his father's restaurant and looking forward to raising his family.

Suzanne, however, has other ideas. She lands a job in a local TV station and her pushy personality and determination move her up the success ladder - all the way to weather girl.

The problems at home with Larry get worse as he realises Suzanne has no intention of playing happy families. Larry has no place in her road to the top, so he has to be taken out of the picture. The solution to all of Suzanne's problems comes in the shape of Jimmy (Joaquin Phoenix), a teenager who is smitten by her. But things don't go according to plan.

From the beginning of the film you are told what happens and you know who pays for the crime in the end. The only thing that keeps your attention is what happens to Kidman. We find out her fate in the last five minutes, and the last scene is, if possible, even more disappointing than the rest of the film.

Kidman plays the ambitious Barbie doll well but at times is too much like Meg Ryan. Except for the two teenagers Jimmy and Lydia no character is believable; it's very disappointing to see Matt Dillon in such a poor role.

There is no plot to hold your attention so at 107 minutes the film is far too long. To Die For is watchable, but instantly forgettable.

BY SINÉAD KANE

Magazine Review: Voices still captive

An Glór Gafa/The Captive Voice
Autumn 1995
Price £1

THE LATEST ISSUE of An Glór Gafa/The Captive Voice contains a very moving piece of writing. It is by Francie McGoldrick, a prisoner in Long Kesh whose partner, Brenda, was killed in a road accident in February this year. He tells how he was called in from the exercise yard to be told of her death by the prison chaplain and he describes his 24 hour parole to attend her funeral. He writes about the renewed importance of his relationship with Shéa, their young son, and the support of his comrades as he has tried to come to terms with the death of the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

It is heartbreaking. I cried when I read it and I'm sure other prisoners and ex-prisoners and their families will react in the same way, knowing, as they do, the fear all prisoners have of losing a loved one in that way.

To Francie, my deepest sympathy and thanks for an open, honest account which must have been difficult to write but which expresses so eloquently the prisoner's experience.

It is often what An Glór Gafa is best at - getting beneath an aspect of imprisonment to tell the human story. And, true to the republican experience of jail, it is never done in a self-pitying way.

This latest issue carries on the magazine's tradition with the usual mix of material: humour, politics, creative writing, reviews, artwork and a great page of quotes.

There is an excellent defence of the GAA's Rule 21 by Vivian McDonald and a closely-argued piece on national self-determination by Gerry Magee. And of course The Red Spider (whoever he is!) continues to ply his mischievous trade.

Still great value at £1. Buy it now.

BY BRIAN CAMPBELL

TV Review: The rare sight of a tongue-tied politician

BY LIAM O COILEAIN

Questions and Answers (RTÉ 1, Mondays, 10.30pm) with John Bowman at the helm has been very weak and dull in recent times but it remains one of those shows worth watching if only for fear of missing something.

Last Monday's was one of those rare classics. Fianna Fáil's Brian Cowen was on top form, as was former Sunday Tribune editor Vincent Browne. Unfortunately the same could not be said for Labour Junior Minister Eithne Fitzgerald, who was, to put it mildly, savaged.

Browne gave Fitzgerald a severe battering over the coalition government's inadequate response to the drugs crisis. When the enterprise and employment junior minister said that the number of in-care beds for those wishing to kick their habits had been doubled, he was in like a light, asking by how many. She was forced to admit that the number of beds had been increased from an insulting ten to a paltry 20 (my adverb and adjective) and precipitated an even worse barrage, as Browne got the bit between his teeth.

Later in the programme, Brian Cowen savaged Fitzgerald over the Lowry affair. His bitterness over the events of less than a year ago was clearly visible as he referred sarcastically to Labour's "high minded" stance when bringing down Albert Reynolds' government and then accused her party of "running away from the standards of ethics and behaviour" which they had promised "because you want to stay in power until 1997". Fitzgerald froze, looking like a rabbit caught in oncoming headlights as her face stiffened, her eyes flicking despairingly to and from her notes. She had no answers on the night to either Cowen or Browne.

After this performance by Fitzgerald the handlers will have an even harder job bailing out the stricken Lowry.

By contrast, Cowen and Browne were well able for each other, although Browne overall came out on top. Cowen at one stage was ribbed by Vincent Browne over the story that he cried as Albert Reynolds' government entered its final death roll. Cowen retorted by informing Browne: "I read your articles and I cry all day."

But the hack hit straight back with: "I read your speeches and I laugh all day."

"I don't want to hear the thud of plastic mid-morning for no particular reason, although it would be fun," Major Crispin Black quipped, as he briefed his men before sending them out to spy on the annual Easter Commemoration in Roslea, County Fermanagh.

An all-woman BBC documentary team spent eight months accompanying the 1st Battalion of the Welsh Guards in the run-up to the IRA cessation last year and the three-part documentary, In the Company of Men (BBC 2, Thursdays, 9pm), is the very entertaining result.

The first episode concentrated on Black, who also displayed a deep knowledge of Irish history during his briefing. "When most human beings were fighting the Kaiser the Irish decided to rise up against the British who then controlled the whole of Ireland and there was a bit of a punch-up," he lectured.

Black was a documentary maker's dream, a stiff-upper-lip chap willing to expound on anything and everything, betraying his alienation from the country he was occupying with almost every remark. He even described the RUC as "a locally raised militia whom I don't trust".

"The IRA view themselves as soldiers," Black revealed. "We view them as a sort of murderous rabble." Imagine this said with a few marbles in your mouth and it becomes very amusing.

But he did make sense when, in reflective mood, he wondered about the point of his 100 troops' presence.

"The worst thing is, underneath everyone realises they are conducting a fairly pointless task. You've seen it. Guarding a police station. How many policemen are there in this place? Eight. Guarded by 100 people. And of those 100 people I suppose some are guarding the policemen but some are guarding the people who are guarding the policemen. So, the number of people who are actually out chasing the IRA around the countryside is practically nil."

He continued: "The trouble is they know we're in here. I mean, when you come to film us where do you go to? Here. Does it ever change? No. So they know we're here. They know we have to be here to guard all the people in here. So, what comes first, the chicken or the egg? The base or the mortar?"

Good stuff, eh? From the mouths of Brits...

For those of you who yearn for something different than the lightweight diet of soaps and quiz show nonsense.that dominate early evening Sunday viewing, a new Channel 4 series might hold the solution.

Hidden Hands, which began last Sunday at 8pm, offers an alternative view of the history of modern art . Though a bit slow moving and unstructured it offers gentle relief from its timeslot competitors, Where in the World and Heartbeat and is great for getting the kids off to bed.

Next episode deals with Impressionism. You have been warned.